Chapter 116: I’m sorry. I’m not sorry. I’m sorry.

Elias’s POV

The noise of Noah’s retching makes me pause mid-action.

I had my answers. They told me where Conan is. But I still need to teach this dog to respect every omega attached to the Deus family.

"It’s okay" I hear Lucas say, and I turn my head. Noah bending forward to empty his stomach on the basement floor and Lucas is right next to him.

"What the hell? Never bring him down here again" Aria says angrily and I stare blankly. Lucas is rubbing my husband’s back and I’m staring.

The meeting we just had is fucking with my head.

’He doesn’t belong to you. What you’ve done by marrying him is a crime’ one of my father’s lackeys had said.

I can’t lose him.

"He’s too weak" Damien says to me without the mocking tone. He moves closer to meet my eyes. "I don’t think Noah’s involved in his father’s shenanigans" he adds.

I throw aside the man I just stabbed. Fork in hand, I push past my brother, and rush to Lucas’s side.

I just want to peek of Noah.

I want to touch him.

I want to run my fingers through his hair and comfort him. But my hands are red with blood, and my mind is like a television displaying static. It’s a functioning television and at the same time, it’s not.

"Take him to my room" I say quietly to Lucas while Aria complains about the messy floor.

Lucas is one of the few people I can trust with Noah’s safety apart from my brothers.

He helps Noah straighten up and takes the whimpering omega away. I return to the man I stabbed and pick him off the floor by his dirty shirt.

"Look at me" I order and he tries to look.

His only good eye flies all over the place to find me. His mouth is hanging open, and thick blood oozing from his ruined eye gushes into the orifice.

Not enough.

The men in this basement are the closest ones to Goldsmith. They worked hand in hand with the man. They know more than they want to say.

It’s fine.

They have plenty of body parts to lose and enough bones to break.

"You’ll survive today" I say to the one who dared to insult my husband in front of me.

I’m not showing him mercy. I’m saving his death for a special time. I let go of his hair and he spits out the blood in his mouth to my shoes.

At peace with my decision, I drop the silver fork to the floor.

I’m about to leave when the man, deluded by stupidity, picks the fork and tries to stab me.

"This fucking cockroach" Damien hisses and gives the man a heavy backhand slap.

"Can I take his eye out? Huh?" my older brother asks with a wild grin and I nod. "Keep him alive. I need him to be able to see my cherry blossom thrive" I say and leave them in the basement.

The man’s scream follows me as I make my way out.

I wrap my fingers around the pocket watch, using the vibration of the muffled ticks to drown out the anxiety these walls give me.

Lucas steps out of my room and shuts the door behind himself.

When he sees me, he suddenly comes after me with his fist raised.

The attack happens too quickly for me to keep up. My guard delivers a punch to my nose and slams my body into the wall.

With a growl, I push him off weakly.

Taking advantage of the distance, he lands another punch to my face, and I taste copper filling my mouth.

"Lucas" I bark his name and return his punch. He grunts in pain and staggers backwards with his teeth clenched. Anger heats my stomach and I raise my fist to hit him again.

"Stop treating him like a fucking rock!" Lucas yells in my face and I keep my hand hanging. I am supposed to knock his teeth out.

"He has feelings, you asshole. He’s not a rock" Lucas says with exhaustion in his voice as he shoves me backwards.

My breathing is erratic. I don’t know what to feel. My chest feels hot, but I don’t know how to feel.

"I know he has feelings" I say over my loud panting.

"Then do better, damn it. I know you struggle with emotions, but if you know you can’t sort it, stay the hell away from Noah" he adds and walks away from me.

Fuck.

I pinch my nose, putting a bit of pressure just below my nose to keep the blood in my nose from flowing down.

Damn it.

I enter my room and find Noah sitting on the edge of the bed with his arms folded.

I shut the door loudly to make him look up. When he does, his beautiful blue eyes switch from being clearly upset to worrying about me.

"What happened to you?" he asks, rising to his feet and rushing over to me.

I stay still as his warm hands cup my face. The heat in my chest softens as he turns my head side to side. The omega is standing on the tip of his toe to examine my face.

"You got hit? Is your nose broken?" he asks and pulls me to my black leather chair.

He makes me sit and heads to my bathroom. I hear him moving around and opening the small cabinet. The omega returns to me and I get confused.

He should be angry at me in the same way I’m angry at him. He should be seething and sulking. Instead, he’s looking after my injury.

My eyes track his face as he cleans up the blood.

His brows are pinched together, and he looks like he has forgotten about the basement. He looks too innocent and I’m still furious at him.

"Why didn’t you tell me about the collar?" I ask and he sighs.

"Because I didn’t think anything of it" he says, but that answer isn’t good enough for me.

"I didn’t even bring it home with me because I don’t want it. But I guess what I do doesn’t matter, you already made your decision" Noah mutters and I grab his arm.

"What do you mean?"

"You think I’m with Julian and you don’t want me anymore" he says.

"I didn’t say I don’t want you" I say to him and he scoffs.

"It sure didn’t feel that way" Noah snatches his arm from my grip, and I follow his movements with my eyes. His eyes are still red rimmed from throwing up earlier.

"Noah" I say his name and he puts some distance between us.

I couldn’t touch or look at him earlier because I wasn’t sure what I’d do.

I might lose my fucking head. I might go mad. And sink my teeth into his scent gland to keep him by my side without his consent.

Yes, I am that possessive and selfish.

"You had your clan meeting, and I wasn’t there to know my fate. Your brothers even said I’m free game" he continues to talk like he’s hurt.

It’s better he hurts this way than in the way I want to hurt him.

I want to violate his mind. I want to infect him. I want to tie his omega to myself and never let go.

"Noah" I call his name again and reach out to hold on to his wrist. The omega tries to tug his hand away and I refuse.

"Your clan people already hate me, and I already have no one to call family except Zane--"

I pull him into myself to make him shut up and to make him sit in my lap.

This is our own bonding method. Me sitting in this chair. Him sitting on me. Us talking as brokenly as we can manage.

"I’m sorry" I whisper.

I’m sorry?

"I don’t know how many times I have to tell you to treat me like a human. I don’t even know if I even have the mental capacity to keep telling you, Elias. I’m tired" he confesses and I kiss the top of his head.

I’m sorry. I’m not sorry. I’m odd. I don’t know what to say to him.

"I’m not letting you go, Noah" I whisper to him and he looks at me with sapphire eyes.

"Then what exactly is going on? What’s happening to my life?" he whispers his questions and I sigh.

I have to tell him eventually.

"I have to mark you" I tell him and I wrap my arms tighter around him as he almost jumps out of my lap.

"What?" he asks.