Chapter 379: Because Tomorrow You Might Die

Lucian waited until Sebastian left before entering Lilith’s room.

It was late. Past midnight. Lilith should have been sleeping but Lucian could feel through the bond that she was awake.

Restless.

Scared.

He knocked softly and entered without waiting for permission.

Lilith was sitting on the bed with her knees pulled up to her chest, staring at nothing.

"Can’t sleep?" Lucian asked.

"No," Lilith admitted. "Every time I close my eyes I just....." She stopped. "I keep thinking about tomorrow."

"Yeah," Lucian said. "Me too."

He crossed to the bed and sat down beside her. For a moment they just sat in silence.

"I’m terrified," Lucian said finally.

Lilith looked at him. "Of what?"

"Of losing you," Lucian said bluntly. "Of watching you attempt something that might kill you and being unable to stop it. Of the bonds snapping and feeling you die. Of..." He stopped and pressed his hands to his face. "Of having to live without you."

"You’ve said that before," Lilith pointed out gently.

"Because it’s true," Lucian said. "Every time I think about tomorrow, about what you’re about to attempt....I feel like I can’t breathe. Like the world is ending and there’s nothing I can do to stop it."

Lilith reached out and took his hand. "I’m scared too."

"I know," Lucian said.

They sat in silence for a moment.

Then Lucian spoke again. "I need to tell you something. Something I should have said a long time ago."

"Okay," Lilith said.

Lucian looked at her directly. "When I marked you without permission, when I forced the bond, I told myself it was because I couldn’t bear to lose you. That the bond was inevitable anyway so it didn’t matter if you consented first."

"I know," Lilith said. "You already apologized for that."

"I know I did," Lucian said. "But I need you to understand why it was so wrong. Why it still eats at me even though you forgave me."

"Tell me," Lilith said.

Lucian took a breath. "My entire life, I’ve watched people make choices for me. The curse decided I would suffer. My great-great-grandfather’s sins decided I would pay for them. Fate decided I would be bound to my brothers and share their pain. I never got to choose any of it."

He squeezed her hand gently.

"And then you came along," Lucian continued. "And you were choosing to stay despite knowing about the curse. Choosing to love us despite knowing it might destroy you. Choosing us freely when you could have run."

"And you took that choice away," Lilith said quietly.

"Yes," Lucian confirmed. "I panicked. I felt you pulling away emotionally and I thought if I just completed the bond, you’d be tied to us permanently and couldn’t leave. But Lilith..." His voice cracked. "I took away the one thing that made what we had special. Your choice. Your freedom to decide for yourself."

Lilith was quiet for a long moment. "And you regret it."

"Every day," Lucian said. "Because even though you forgave me, even though you chose to stay afterward...I’ll always know that the third bond wasn’t given freely. It was taken. And that makes it different from what Nicholas and Sebastian have with you."

"It doesn’t feel different to me," Lilith said.

"Maybe not," Lucian allowed. "But it does to me. And if I could go back, if I could undo it and wait for you to choose me on your own terms....I would. In a heartbeat."

Lilith turned to face him fully. "Lucian, I forgave you. I chose to stay. I chose to love you despite how the bond formed. Why isn’t that enough?"

"Because tomorrow you might die," Lucian said. "And if you do.....if the transformation fails and I lose you, the last thing I’ll remember is that I forced something on you that should have been a gift freely given. And that will destroy me."

Lilith’s eyes filled with tears. "Then let me give it to you now."

Lucian stared at her. "What?"

"The choice," Lilith said. "The one you took from me. Let me give it to you now. Freely. Consciously. With full understanding of what it means."

"Lilith..."

"No, listen," Lilith interrupted. She moved closer and took both his hands. "Lucian, I choose you. I choose the bond we have. I choose to love you. I choose to stay with you and fight for you and build a life with you. All of it. Freely given. Do you understand? I’m choosing you."

Lucian felt tears slip down his face. "Even knowing what it costs? Even knowing tomorrow might be the last day we have?"

"Especially then," Lilith said. "Because Lucian, if tomorrow is all we get, I want to spend it knowing that you understand how much I love you. How much I choose you. Not because a bond forced me to. But because you’re worth choosing."

Lucian pulled her into his arms and held her like she might disappear if he let go.

"I love you," he whispered against her hair. "I love you so much it terrifies me."

"I love you too," Lilith said. "And tomorrow I’m going to fight. I’m going to try to transform the curse. And I’m going to survive. Because I want that life with you. I want years of choosing you. Decades. Centuries if we can figure it out."

"Promise?" Lucian asked.

"I promise to try," Lilith said. "That’s all I can give you."

"It’s enough," Lucian lied.

They stayed like that for a long time. Holding each other. Feeling the bond pulse between them. Trying not to think about what morning would bring.

Eventually Lilith pulled back and looked at him with determination in her eyes.

"Stay with me," she said. "Until morning. I don’t want to be alone."

"You’re never alone," Lucian said. "But yes. I’ll stay."

They lay down together and Lucian held Lilith until she finally fell asleep.

And he stayed awake watching her breathe.

Memorizing every detail of her face.

Just in case tomorrow was the last time he ever saw her alive.