Chapter 44: The Sannin and The Android: 02

With a blinding flash of white light, Naruto appeared right in the middle of the bar… or what was left of it, anyway. The place looked like a hurricane had rolled through after stopping for a drink. Broken glass littered the floor, tables were overturned, chairs were splintered beyond recognition, and unconscious patrons were scattered around like props in a horror show.

Naruto surveyed the chaos with a cool, almost bored look, as if destruction was just part of the usual ambiance. She raised her voice, somehow managing to sound both robotic and loud at the same time, like an unenthused machine on max volume. "PERVY SAGE." Her voice cut through the stillness like a knife.

Silence.

She frowned—well, as much as someone with her emotionless expression could frown. Her voice went up another notch, loud enough to shake some loose dust from the ceiling. "PERVY SAGE."

There was a grumble from beneath her, and a somewhat strained, groggy voice groaned, "Ugh… what happened… you moron of a brat, get off me!"

Naruto blinked and looked down, realizing she was standing on Jiraiya. Specifically, her heel was about an inch away from his… sensitive areas. "Oh, you were still asleep," she noted, in a tone that suggested he had personally inconvenienced her by daring to be unconscious. Without hesitation, she picked up a nearby half-empty bottle and dumped the contents all over his face.

"HEY!" Jiraiya spluttered, water (or whatever suspicious liquid it was) dripping down his face.

"Just waking you up properly," Naruto said flatly. "Dattebayo."

Jiraiya sat up with a long, exasperated sigh, wiping his soaked face. "Do you have any idea what Tsunade put in my drink?" He shook his head, looking utterly defeated. "She slipped something in there. Paralyzed me, completely knocked me out. And then… Orochimaru showed up. Took her away."

"Oh," Naruto replied, her expression blank, voice devoid of any real urgency. "So… we search for the hag?"

"Yes, of course!" Jiraiya tried to push himself up, wobbling like a newborn fawn, but his legs buckled immediately. He gave her a pleading look, gesturing towards his incapacitated limbs. "I can't move, Naruto. You're gonna have to carry me."

Naruto gave him a look that was somehow both bored and vaguely disgusted, as if he'd asked her to carry a sack of rotten fish. "I don't do lifting," she replied simply, folding her arms.

"Come on!" Jiraiya wheezed, still attempting to stand but failing miserably, flopping back down like a fish on dry land. "You've got super strength, don't you? It'll be nothing for you!"

Naruto's gaze remained unmoved. "No. I don't carry dead weight. Dattebayo."

Jiraiya groaned, sounding both exhausted and insulted. "You're calling me dead weight? After all I've taught you? All the amazing techniques—"

"—that I already knew," Naruto interrupted with a slight smirk. "Come on, you're the legendary Toad Sage, aren't you? Hop along."

At that moment, the door banged open, and Shizune and Sasuke stepped in, their faces a mixture of concern and bewilderment. Shizune took one look at the wrecked bar, her eyes widening in horror, while Sasuke gave a long-suffering sigh, already sensing the chaos that lay ahead.

"Huh, great timing," Naruto said, her gaze snapping to Sasuke, her tone as flat as always. "Carry the old perv and follow me."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and he looked like he'd rather eat a mouthful of kunai than comply. "Why should I carry him? He's your sensei!"

But Naruto had already turned on her heel, striding toward the door with robotic determination, as if his protest hadn't even registered. Sasuke clenched his teeth, threw a sharp glare at Jiraiya, and with an overly dramatic sigh, hoisted the older man onto his back like he was hauling a sack of rice.

"Finally," Jiraiya muttered, though his tone was more exasperated than thankful.

As they stumbled out into the street, Shizune shot Naruto a curious look. "How exactly do you know where Lady Tsunade is?"

"I don't," Naruto replied, her tone entirely unconcerned, as if this minor detail was irrelevant. She kept walking with a purposeful stride. "We're going to look for her. Dattebayo."

Sasuke nearly tripped over his own feet, Jiraiya's weight wobbling on his back. "And I have to carry him?!"

Naruto sighed in exasperation, stopping in the middle of the bustling street. "You are so annoying." She shot him a flat look, then made a cross-shaped hand seal. "Multi-Shadow Clone Jutsu. Dattebayo."

In an instant, the entire street was filled—no, swarmed—with identical copies of Naruto, each one dressed in a frilly black dress, with short white bobbed hair and the same unsettling, sapphire blue stare. Hundreds of identical Narutos, like an army of creepy, blank-faced porcelain dolls, poured out into the street, spreading in all directions.

Civilians froze in their tracks, some dropping their grocery bags, others taking steps back with faces of sheer terror. No one dared to move, transfixed by the sight of what could only be described as a small army of unsettlingly emotionless girls. Each clone marched off with stiff determination, as if programmed for a mission only they understood.

"There," Naruto said, looking rather pleased with herself, though her expression barely shifted from its usual stoic calm. "That shouldn't take more than a few seconds."

For the first time, Sasuke, Jiraiya, and Shizune all looked genuinely relieved, though they still cast wary glances at the clones bustling around them.

A few seconds passed.

Then a few more.

Naruto blinked, cocking her head to the side like a malfunctioning robot. "Ah. Found them."

And without a word of explanation, she vanished in a flash of white light, leaving Sasuke, Jiraiya, and Shizune standing in stunned silence.

"Um…where did she go, exactly?" Shizune asked nervously, glancing around as if Naruto might pop up beside her any moment.

Sasuke, who had finally run out of patience, grumbled something unintelligible under his breath before unceremoniously dropping Jiraiya onto the ground with a loud thud.

"Hey!" Jiraiya yelped, glaring up at Sasuke. "That hurt!"

"Oh, sorry," Sasuke replied in a tone that suggested he wasn't sorry at all. He dusted his hands off as if he'd just disposed of garbage.

Meanwhile, Shizune scanned the area, sighing in frustration. "So… do we wait for her to come back, or…?"

Jiraiya groaned, still lying sprawled on the ground. "We're doomed," he muttered, staring up at the sky in resignation. "Totally doomed."

 Join my Discord Server: .gg/X7sphRUsxJ