Chapter 45: The Sannin and The Android: 03

In a dark, crumbling warehouse that looked like it had last seen visitors around the time dinosaurs roamed the earth, Tsunade stood with her arms folded, giving Orochimaru a withering glare. The walls were peeling, rust coated every metal surface, and a single flickering bulb cast an eerie yellowish glow over the entire scene. Somewhere in the distance, a rat squeaked, clearly expressing the same sentiment Tsunade was—annoyance.

"No," she said, her voice flat and final, for what felt like the hundredth time that hour.

Orochimaru, looking as desperate as a man with two stumps where his arms used to be, practically growled. "Come on, Tsunade! I'm begging you. Please fix my arms. Do you understand the pain I'm in?" He sounded like he was attempting to squeeze tears out of his eyes, which were just as unsettling as his usual soul-sucking stare.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "But you don't have any arms left to fix," she replied, deadpan, barely bothering to mask the sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"Then regrow them!" Orochimaru snapped, his face contorted with both fury and desperation, looking like a snake on the verge of tears—if snakes could cry, that is.

As their argument heated up, Kabuto, Orochimaru's loyal lackey, stood off to the side, watching the back-and-forth like it was a daily soap opera. He leaned back, folding his arms with an amused smirk on his face. Beside him stood a girl with short, messy hair, who looked equally entertained.

"They get along well, don't they?" she remarked in a bored monotone, her expression barely shifting.

Kabuto shrugged, keeping his gaze on the dysfunctional duo. "They were teammates for a long time, after all. They know each other's… quirks."

There was a pause, and then the girl tilted her head, her voice coming out like a glitchy robot's, curious but completely devoid of emotion. "Say… if he doesn't have his arms anymore, then how does he… you know, handle his business in the bathroom?"

Kabuto sighed deeply, his face filled with the tragic resignation of a man whose life choices had somehow led him here. He held up his own hands and wiggled his fingers in distaste, as if they were forever tainted. "I do it for him," he muttered, his tone suggesting he'd prefer almost any other job in the world.

"That's disgusting," the girl said, her blank expression unwavering, as if discussing the weather.

"Indeed," Kabuto replied, though he couldn't help a slight twitch of a smile. He turned back to watch Tsunade and Orochimaru, who were now arguing so loudly it sounded like two angry crows screeching in an echo chamber.

"Hey, is wiping Orochimaru's butt your new part-time job?" she added casually. "You must be desperate then."

Kabuto's eye twitched. "No," he replied coolly, though his pride was clearly wounded. "I have my own goals, and this is trivial compared to the rewards I'll gain."

The girl, whose robotic monotone somehow managed to convey a hint of sarcastic curiosity, cocked her head. "Hmm, so what's your goal? A certificate in… nursing criminals? Dattebayo?"

Kabuto's eyes narrowed in suspicion at the odd verbal tick. "'Dattebayo'? Wait a minute…" He looked at her, his eyes widening.

The girl blinked, and with a slow, emotionless motion, pointed a finger at herself. "What? I know I am attractive," she said, her tone as arrogant as it was deadpan, "but staring like that is just rude."

Kabuto's eyes went even wider, realization dawning on him like the world's worst epiphany. "You?!"

"Me?" she asked, her voice calm as ever, as if she couldn't understand why he was acting so surprised.

At that moment, Orochimaru whirled around, his face twisting in utter horror as he recognized the figure standing there. His eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. "You?!"

Naruto pointed at herself with the same eerie calm. "Me?"

Even Tsunade, who had been rolling her eyes at Orochimaru's whining for the past hour, suddenly did a double-take, her expression flipping to one of total disbelief. "You?!"

Once again, Naruto lifted a finger to herself. "Me."

Orochimaru, his face a portrait of absolute revulsion, let out a shriek that echoed through the empty warehouse. "You little pest! Do you have any idea the kind of state I'm in because of you?! My arms are—are—" he trailed off, too incensed to finish the sentence, his nostrils flaring as he fought to find the words.

Naruto tilted her head slightly, her expression as blank as ever. "I didn't know you needed help with… your… wiping your butt. Sorry, sort of. Dattebayo."

Orochimaru looked like he was about to explode, his face twisting with rage. Before he could spit out a venomous retort, Kabuto leapt forward, his hands glowing with ominous blue chakra, his face set with deadly intent. "You're going to regret showing your face here!" he snarled, lunging toward Naruto with all the fury of a man defending his boss's… personal dignity.

Naruto didn't even flinch. She stood perfectly still, watching Kabuto charge with the enthusiasm of a toddler learning to run. The moment he reached her, she sidestepped his first strike with lazy precision, almost as if she was bored.

Kabuto growled, taking another swing, but Naruto tilted her head to the side, dodging with ease. "You know," she said, yawning mid-sentence, "you could really improve your form. Maybe move your right foot back a little? Or just, I dunno, stop sucking so much?"

Kabuto's eye twitched. He lunged again, his chakra-laden hands slicing through the air with deadly accuracy… only for Naruto to step back, barely lifting a finger. He growled, trying a high kick, but she ducked, slipping past him as if he were moving in slow motion.

"Honestly," she continued in her robotic tone, "you really should consider taking some lessons. This is just embarrassing. Dattebayo."

Kabuto, his patience nearing its limit, charged in again with a roar, his hands now glowing with even fiercer chakra. But just as he closed in, Naruto suddenly appeared behind him, her hands clasped together in a familiar, mischievous gesture.

"Oh, by the way," she said with her trademark deadpan, "this one's called the Thousand Years of Death."

Before Kabuto could react, Naruto jabbed her fingers right into his backside. Kabuto let out a high-pitched yelp, shooting forward through the air like a human missile. He landed a few feet away, skidding to a stop as he clutched his… sore area, his expression a mix of rage and humiliation.

With a grunt, he staggered to his feet, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment and pain, before glaring daggers at her. "You… you little…!"

Naruto just yawned again, barely concealing her boredom. "Are you coming back for more? Because honestly, you're giving me a headache," she said, dodging his attacks with even less effort now, her movements so effortless it looked like she was half-asleep.

Kabuto threw punch after punch, but Naruto sidestepped each one with the ease of someone dodging a particularly slow butterfly. "Maybe try lifting your left arm higher? No, no, that's worse… Yeah, this is hopeless."

Meanwhile, a few feet away, Orochimaru was still pleading with Tsunade, his voice becoming more desperate with every passing moment. "Tsunade, come on! Just heal me already! You know what I'm capable of if I get my arms back. Think of all the power we could have!"

But Tsunade didn't hear him. She was too busy watching Naruto fight Kabuto with that half-interested look of someone flipping through a particularly dull magazine. The whole scene had turned into a surreal circus, and Tsunade couldn't look away.

Orochimaru's pleas grew louder, his voice cracking. "Tsunade! I'm begging you!"

But Tsunade simply smirked, folding her arms. "Why would I want to stop this show? I'm getting free entertainment," she murmured, a sly grin crossing her face.

 Join my Discord Server: .gg/X7sphRUsxJ