Chapter 305: I’m Sorry, Ji Huan

Chapter 305: Chapter 305: I’m Sorry, Ji Huan

Ji Huan used the excuse of applying medicine to change the subject, and Song Jing’s face immediately turned red to the tips of his ears.

Both of his arms were already treated. The only places left to apply medicine were his chest and back.

Since they were not yet married, Song Jing couldn’t bring himself to casually disrobe in front of Ji Huan. He clutched his collar tightly, almost as if he thought Ji Huan was going to force herself on him.

Ji Huan’s mind was focused on his injuries, and she had automatically slipped into the role of a doctor. It was only when she saw his reaction that a belated sense of awkwardness washed over her.

"Well... here’s the medicine and some cotton swabs. You can take them home and apply it yourself. But you won’t be able to reach your back, will you?"

Song Jing quickly replied, "I can manage."

Most of the time he just endured the beatings, but on the occasions Mrs. Meng lost control and hit him too hard, he would have to get medicine so as not to fall behind in his studies. He was no stranger to the process of applying it.

"Besides, it’s so late. For me to be in your house, and then to... it’s just not proper..."

His reasoning was sound, so Ji Huan had no choice but to agree.

She wrapped the ointment and cotton swabs and handed them to Song Jing. As she saw him to the door, she reminded him again.

"No matter how the conversation goes, the most important thing is to protect yourself. Don’t just stand there and take the abuse, you hear me?"

Song Jing nodded obediently and said lightly, "I know. You should get some sleep."

But how could Ji Huan possibly sleep?

She wasn’t a fool. When Song Jing said the beating had nothing to do with her, she didn’t actually believe him.

It was true that Mrs. Meng often administered corporal punishment to Song Jing, but for him to be beaten this badly... it was most likely because Mrs. Meng had vented her anger toward Ji Huan on him.

Song Jing had come in the dead of night to tell her not to give up, that he would fight to create a future for them.

It would be a lie to say Ji Huan wasn’t moved.

But Song Jing’s injuries completely undermined the resolve that had just begun to soften, along with her promise to "give it another try."

Ji Huan realized with stark clarity, ’Song Jing will never be able to convince Mrs. Meng. And Mrs. Meng will never, ever accept me.’

’It has nothing to do with the reputation of my household, nor my attitude toward Mrs. Meng earlier today. It’s simply because I am Ji Huan. I’d have to be reborn as someone else...’

This was an irreconcilable conflict. There was no room for compromise.

Yet Song Jing still clung to hope.

But even the most brilliant people have their blind spots, and for Song Jing, that blind spot was his own family.

’Besides, he probably wouldn’t listen to anything I say right now. If I’m too resolute, it might just lead to an even more intense confrontation between him and Mrs. Meng.’

So, even though she could already see how it would end, if he wanted to try, all Ji Huan could do was try alongside him.

People say you have to hit a wall before you’ll turn back. Perhaps both she and Song Jing needed a real reason to finally give up and let go.

In stark contrast to Ji Huan’s pessimism, Song Jing’s mood was the complete opposite.

Before he came to find Ji Huan, he had been filled with a helpless confusion, terrified that Ji Huan would say something he couldn’t bear to hear and then refuse to ever see him again.

To Song Jing, a beating was a small matter. The pain, no matter how sharp, was only physical. But the thought of losing Ji Huan made his heart twist into a tight knot—that was the truly unbearable torment.

That was why he couldn’t wait, running to find Ji Huan in the middle of the night to clear the air, terrified of letting any misunderstanding fester between them.

The cloth bundle in his hand was a tangible weight of Ji Huan’s concern.

He even felt that the beating had been well worth it.

Not only had it allowed him a glimpse into Ji Huan’s true feelings, but it had also taught him how wonderful it was to be cared for and fussed over when he was hurt.

Compared to the dejection he’d felt before, he was now filled with strength, from the inside out.

At the same time, his mind was racing, trying to figure out how to change Mrs. Meng’s mind.

’She’s probably just having a hard time accepting it right now,’ he thought. ’Once her anger cools, and after I pass the provincial examinations, there will be a chance for things to calm down.’

’If Mother still refuses to compromise, then worst comes to worst, I’ll... Surely she’d rather accept Ji Huan than have something happen to her son.’

’But that’s a last resort.’

’For now, I have to get back quickly.’

This time, Mrs. Meng had gritted her teeth and beaten him half to death. Toward the end, Song Jing had lost consciousness. When he came to, he was already lying in his room.

Mrs. Meng had stood watch by his bed, her face a wooden mask. She wasn’t weeping with self-recrimination as she usually did, but simply holding a bowl of medicine. He couldn’t remember which beating this medicine had been purchased for; some had been left over.

Song Jing drank only half the bowl before drifting into a groggy sleep.

By the time he woke again, it was the middle of the night.

Mrs. Meng was gone; he assumed she had gone to her own room to sleep. He forced himself out of bed, remembered to change into a clean outer robe, and then slipped out of the house to find Ji Huan...

’I hope Mother isn’t awake yet,’ Song Jing thought, quickening his pace despite the pain.

The courtyard gate was just as he had left it. Song Jing entered the yard cautiously, tiptoeing toward his room.

When he reached his door, he turned and walked toward the room across the yard instead.

He pressed his ear to the door and listened. There was no sound from within. He hadn’t disturbed Mrs. Meng.

He breathed a sigh of relief and walked back to his own room.

As he reached out to push the door, he sensed something wasn’t right.

He was sure he had closed the door tightly when he left, but now it was cracked open.

’Maybe the wind blew it open...’

With that thought, he paid it no mind.

But as the door swung open, the scene that met his eyes made Song Jing’s blood run cold—

There was a figure in his room. The figure was touching neither heaven nor earth, but was suspended in mid-air, hanging from a roof beam.

"Mother!!!"

The next day, when it was time to start work, Widow Xie was late.

About an hour later, she finally came running in a flurry.

The first words out of her mouth were a bombshell: "You haven’t heard, have you? Mrs. Meng tried to hang herself!"

CLANG! The wicker sieve in Ji Huan’s hands fell to the ground.

No one noticed her reaction, because the siblings from the main branch of the family were just as shocked.

"What happened, Auntie Xie? Tell us, quick!"

Ji Xuelan and Ji Mingfang had come over right after breakfast. They lived in West River Gully, which was some distance from the village center, so news traveled as slowly to them as it did to Ji Huan.

Widow Xie slapped her thigh. "When I left home this morning, I saw crowds of noisy people at the entrances to a few of the nearby alleys. I went over to ask and found out something happened to Mrs. Meng last night..."

Ji Huan snapped back to her senses and grabbed Widow Xie’s arm. "What about her? Is she... is she still alive? She’s alive, right?"

She fired off the questions one after another, and if you listened closely, you could hear the tremor in her voice.

Widow Xie didn’t think much of it, just assuming Ji Huan was young and had never encountered something so shocking.

"It was a close call. Song Jing found her just in time and got her down while she was still breathing. His shouts alerted the neighbors, and they ran to get Village Chief Meng. The village chief dragged a traveling doctor from the next village over in the middle of the night. That traveling doctor forced a bowl of medicine down her throat but couldn’t guarantee she’d wake up. Song Jing couldn’t wait, so he borrowed a mule cart and went to town to fetch a proper doctor. The doctor from town had just arrived when I was leaving my house, so I went to take a peek..."

"What did the doctor from town say?" Ji Huan pressed.

"He said her neck bones were nearly broken. I didn’t see how he treated her; they wouldn’t let anyone in the room. He was in there for a long time before coming out... She’s out of danger, but her throat is injured. We’ll have to wait until Mrs. Meng wakes up to see if there’s any permanent damage."

Ji Xuelan couldn’t understand. "I can’t imagine why. What could Aunt Meng have to despair about? Her son just became a Scholar. Any other family would be celebrating for a whole year."

"Some people are saying Mrs. Meng wanted to move back to Song Family Village, but Village Chief Meng and the clan wouldn’t let her. She got angry and..." Widow Xie sighed. "She’s just so narrow-minded. Even if she disregards everything else, she should at least think of Song Jing."

Ji Mingfang, who rarely spoke up, added, "Isn’t Song Jing supposed to take the provincial examinations soon? If he had to observe a mourning period for his mother, he probably..."

"Exactly! She’s just sabotaging her own son..."

Ji Huan didn’t hear a single word of what they said after that.

When she heard Mrs. Meng was out of danger, her tension suddenly broke, and she realized her clenched palms were slick with cold sweat.

Only then did she have the presence of mind to think about anything else.

’Last night... Could it be that Song Jing was caught the moment he got back from my house? Did they argue, and is that why Mrs. Meng tried to end her life?’

Whether that was the case or not, the sheer finality of Mrs. Meng’s actions terrified Ji Huan.

’Thank god she was saved. If she hadn’t been, how would Song Jing live with himself for the rest of his life?’

’Would he spend the rest of his days tormenting himself with guilt and regret? Is that what Mrs. Meng wanted?’

At first, Ji Huan had assumed Mrs. Meng was only pretending to hang herself as a threat to frighten Song Jing.

But after hearing Widow Xie’s description, she realized Mrs. Meng had been serious.

’She was willing to die to keep me and Song Jing apart...’

Ji Huan didn’t know what expression to wear.

She only knew one thing: she and Song Jing were well and truly over.

For the next few days, the village buzzed with talk of the incident. Ji Huan turned a deaf ear to it all, simply waiting for Song Jing to show up at her door.

Three days later, Song Jing finally came.

At the same time, in the same place as that night.

He was far more haggard. The gentle smile that used to grace his eyes was gone, replaced by an expression full of guilt.

He looked at Ji Huan, his mouth opening and closing, but for the longest time, not a single word came out.

Ji Huan gave a slight, wry tug at the corner of her lips and broke the silence for him. "I know."

She wasn’t weeping or clinging to him. Her tone could even be described as calm.

Seeing her like this was, for Song Jing, like having his heart carved out with a dull knife.

He didn’t doubt her feelings for him. In fact, her composure only made his heart ache with an unbearable pain.

’It’s just... it’s just... we really can’t go on.’

Even in the dim light, Ji Huan could see the glint of tears in the corners of Song Jing’s eyes.

His voice was hoarse as he repeated the same words over and over, his tone pained and wretched.

"I’m so sorry, Ji Huan."