Chapter 306: One Must Look Forward

Chapter 306: Chapter 306: One Must Look Forward

Ji Huan wasn’t one for formal apologies like "pardon me" or "I beg your forgiveness." Villagers typically used the more colloquial "my apologies," but she was even more informal, with "I’m sorry" always at the ready.

Song Jing had once asked her if "I’m sorry" meant the same thing as "my apologies."

She’d nodded and, showing off a little, intentionally made it sound grand—"’I’m sorry’ means ’The fault is mine; I pray for your forbearance.’"

Song Jing remembered. And now, he was saying those words to Ji Huan.

Life was truly absurd.

Ji Huan paused, then said, "You’ve done nothing wrong. You don’t need to say those two words."

"No..." Song Jing shook his head, again and again.

He had so much he wanted to say, but he discovered that when a person is truly heartbroken, words fail them. All they can do is repeat the other’s name, over and over, like a machine.

As if to set the scene, the moon, which had been hiding lazily for days, finally decided to show up for work.

But its mood didn’t seem to be a happy one either. It hid behind thick clouds, leaving only its silhouette visible.

The sparse, pale light that filtered down to the mortal world only added to the desolation.

Though they stood facing each other, they no longer dared to meet the other’s gaze.

They stood in silence as a boundless melancholy spread between them, so thick that even the passing wind seemed to fall silent.

After a long silence, even the wind could no longer bear the weight. It let out a heavy sigh, sweeping up the fallen leaves on the ground and carrying them far away.

Ji Huan managed a smile. It was a smile tinged with regret, but not so full of heartbreak that it would make the person seeing it feel too guilty.

"You should go back. Your mother needs someone to look after her right now."

Song Jing met her gaze and, with great difficulty, forced out the words, "From now on... take care of yourself."

Ji Huan nodded. Song Jing turned to leave.

His steps were slow, as if his legs weighed a thousand pounds.

As Ji Huan watched him walk further away, she suddenly called out to his back, "Don’t let her hit you anymore! If you can’t stop her, then just run!"

Song Jing’s figure froze.

He didn’t turn around. Instead, he quickened his pace, stumbling until he disappeared from Ji Huan’s sight.

Ji Huan watched until he had completely merged with the darkness. The curve of her lips slowly fell, and only then did she realize her cheeks ached from holding the smile.

She stood there for a while longer, not knowing what she was thinking, or perhaps thinking of nothing at all.

It wasn’t until she felt a tug on the hem of her skirt that she looked down and saw Ding.

Ji Huan crouched down and patted Ding’s head.

Having successfully captured her attention, Ding let go of her skirt. He first nuzzled her palm, then propped his front paws on her knees and stretched his tongue out to lick her cheek.

He licked once and then stopped, perhaps tasting the saltiness.

But Ding was a good boy. He didn’t mind. He pushed his head forward again, and Ji Huan couldn’t block him—the little guy had grown quite a bit in the last few months.

When she finally managed to pull Ding off, her face was already sopping wet.

She wiped her face, then wiped it again, but it only seemed to get wetter.

"Oh, Ding," she murmured, "it’s really gotten cold."

All of nature was withering, the grass and trees decaying. And so, her own out-of-season peach blossom had finally wilted.

After this moment of reflection, Ji Huan sniffled and figured she was probably catching a cold.

She ruffled Ding’s head, then took him into the courtyard and bolted the gate.

’Time to sleep. A good night’s rest, and tomorrow will be a new day. I have to keep looking forward.’

Song Jing stumbled home, his steps unsteady. He stood woodenly in the courtyard, looking around at the desolate scene, his heart filled with a vast emptiness.

He suddenly didn’t know what to do or where to go, feeling like a numb, empty shell.

It wasn’t until a series of coughs came from the west room that he was jolted from his deep stupor.

He rolled up his sleeves and went into the kitchen. He reheated the porridge he had made earlier, found the single remaining bowl on the cutting board, filled it, and carried it into the west room.

A gust of wind followed him as he entered, making the flame of the oil lamp flicker. The person on the bed slowly opened her eyes, her face pale and sickly, devoid of all life.

Song Jing sat on the edge of the heated brick bed, holding the bowl. He scooped up a spoonful of porridge and brought it to Mrs. Meng’s lips.

She turned her head to the side. The movement was slow; it was clear she had no strength left.

Song Jing lowered the spoon back into the bowl. Though utterly exhausted, he had to say something. He couldn’t just watch his own mother starve herself to death.

"Mother, please eat something. You haven’t had a proper meal in days. If this goes on..."

Mrs. Meng turned a deaf ear, acting as if she hadn’t heard him.

Song Jing lowered his head in silence for a moment, then suddenly spoke. "Ji Huan and I... we’ve broken it off."

Those words were like the most effective medicine. Mrs. Meng’s gaze snapped back to him, her eyes fixed on Song Jing in a stare that was deeply unsettling.

She opened her mouth, but only a wheezing sound came out.

A bitter taste filled Song Jing’s mouth. He nodded. "It’s over. Completely. Can you eat now?"

Mrs. Meng’s eyes suddenly lit up with astonishing brightness, and even her gloomy complexion seemed to regain some color.

Suppressing the dull ache in his chest, Song Jing once again brought the spoon to her lips.

Mrs. Meng shook her head urgently.

Her mouth opened and closed. Though she made no sound, Song Jing could read her lips.

His head was throbbing. He forced himself to be patient and continued to persuade her.

"I know you’re still hung up on what happened back then, but Uncle had his own difficulties. Even though he didn’t take us in, he helped us get settled in town. Over the years, he’s helped us plenty, both openly and in secret."

"Back when I passed the child student exam, the Meng clansmen came to invite us. You were afraid that I would end up like Ji Liantang, wasting years without passing the academy exam, and that we wouldn’t be able to afford it. That’s why you agreed to move back to Dafeng Village."

"Now that I’ve successfully become a Scholar, how can I just turn my back on them and pretend I don’t know them?"

Mrs. Meng’s expression changed in an instant. She let out a few guttural "Ah! Ah!" sounds and began pounding the bed in a rage.

"Mother, aren’t you afraid you’ll break Uncle’s heart? What’s so great about Song Family Village? What is there in that place that’s worth us going back to..."

No matter what Song Jing said, Mrs. Meng, who had fallen into a frenzied state, couldn’t hear a word.

Her fury, instead of abating, only grew. Seeing that Song Jing still wouldn’t relent, she sat up and lunged toward the inner wall to smash her head against it.

"Mother!"

Song Jing was on the verge of collapse. He dropped to his knees with a THUD, clutched his head in his hands, and screamed in agony.

"I’ll do whatever you want! Isn’t it enough that I’ll do whatever you want?!"

Mrs. Meng’s lunge toward the wall froze as if someone had pressed pause. She looked at the defeated Song Jing, and a rare smile touched her lips.

On the last day of the ninth month, following Mrs. Meng’s attempt to hang herself, another piece of news sent shockwaves through Dafeng Village.

Song Jing and Mrs. Meng were moving away.

On the day they left, more than half the village went to the entrance to see them off.

Ji Huan told Widow Xie and the others to stop what they were doing and go take a look if they wanted to.

Widow Xie had been antsy for a while and asked Ji Huan why she wasn’t going with them.

Ji Huan just shook her head and said nothing.

When Widow Xie returned a long while later, she was full of sighs.

"Just as I said. If a person’s roots aren’t planted here, you can’t keep them, not even if he’s a Scholar."

Ji Xuelan also sighed. "Those people from the Song Family clan... back then, they refused to stand up for a widow and her young son. Now that they’re here to welcome a Scholar, they’re all beaming like blooming flowers."

"Their village probably hasn’t produced a Scholar in a hundred years, of course they’re ecstatic! If Song Jing continues to pass his exams, the entire clan will bask in his glory for years to come!"

"Sigh, no wonder. I saw the village chief. He was smiling, but it looked more like he was crying."

"There’s nothing to be done. You can’t really make an enemy of him. With Song Jing’s current status, it’s better to be on good terms than bad. Didn’t you see that even Mrs. Hong went to the send-off? I bet she’s kicking herself now. So petty and short-sighted. It serves her right!"

"They didn’t have a choice. Aunt Meng nearly died from all the fuss she was making..."

The departure of Song Jing and his mother seemed to indirectly confirm the real reason for Mrs. Meng’s suicide attempt.

But just as the village was settling back into peace and quiet, a different story began to spread from an unknown source.

The story went that Mrs. Meng hadn’t tried to hang herself because of a dispute with the village chief about returning to her husband’s family, but because Ji Huan had seduced Song Jing.

The rumor claimed Song Jing had been bewitched by Ji Huan and was determined to marry her. Unable to stop him, Mrs. Meng had tried to kill herself in a fit of rage!