Chapter 145: Than I Ever Imagined

Astrid’s POV

I had to go see things for myself, and everything I heard turned out to be true. My sister had gone further than I ever thought possible. She got married to an Alpha. She didn’t even let my dad walk her down the aisle. That, to me, was the peak of anger and unforgiveness ... and I couldn’t even be mad at her for it.

She had become bigger than I ever imagined.

Family was what brought us together. Hatred was what tore us apart.

But I couldn’t deny it ... she had made life worth living again. Not just for me, but for everyone. If not for her invention, none of us would have survived the blast her husband unleashed. He literally bombed the entire agric plant. She had gone and married a wicked man, and somehow still managed to save the world he tried to destroy.

I knew the truth, even if she didn’t. I knew it was because of me that our parents hated and abandoned her. But she would never know what happened behind the scenes ... how our dad used to look out for her quietly, how he always wanted to know how she was doing. He did care. He just never got the chance to show it, because I made sure of that.

I was the one who stood in the way. Every single time.

I had been so determined to destroy her, and now here she was ... thriving ... and I had become a beneficiary of the very work I tried to bury. She had even become a millionaire. All the things I wanted to be. Everything I chased and never caught.

I didn’t play my cards right. I killed. I got distracted. I slept with people I had no business touching, and now look where I was. Damn.

My head was hanging low when Ethan found me sitting alone in the house.

"What’s wrong, love?"

I wanted to brush it off. I didn’t want to burden him. But being honest with your spouse was always the right thing to do, so I made myself speak.

"My sister," I said. "She got married, started a business, built something real. All I ever did was hate her."

Ethan wrapped his arm around my shoulders and held me steady. "Things happen, Astrid. You and your sister can still make things right one day ... but right now, you have to fight that guilt you’re carrying on the inside."

It made sense. More than I wanted to admit.

"How do I make it go away?" I asked.

"Be happy for her," he said simply. "She did what she knows how to do best. Be happy for her, and then focus on your own life."

"Focus." I repeated the word, letting it sit in my mouth. "I want to focus. Can you touch me?"

He looked at me like I was joking. "Huh?"

I wasn’t joking.

"Touch me," I said again.

He wanted to please me. He always did. He started slowly, rubbing my breasts through the fabric, and I already felt the tension in my body begin to shift. He unclasped my bra and drew his hands across my skin, caressing my nipples until I forgot what silence felt like.

"Put your mouth there," I told him.

He sucked gently, then dragged his tongue across the area until I was fully aroused and had no intention of stopping.

"Do it like you love me," I said. "I don’t just want to be fucked, Ethan. I want to feel it."

I needed to feel like I still belonged somewhere. Like I still mattered to someone. And Ethan was the only person on this earth who could give me that.

"You ready for all of this?" I asked, sliding off my pants and underwear.

He looked at me the way a man looks at something he knows is his.

"Give me a mouth job," I told him.

He went down immediately, no hesitation, no buildup ... just his mouth on me, working like he had a point to prove. I grabbed my own breasts and held on, because the hormone rush was not playing fair. Ethan knew exactly how to drive a woman out of her mind.

He kept going. Then he increased the pace.

"Ahh ... Ethan, you fucker ... I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum..." I moaned like I was hitting a high note I’d been building toward my whole life.

He pulled back just long enough to confirm what I already knew ... that I tasted like candy ... then I reached down and pulled off his pants myself. His dick fell right out of his boxers. Big, long, and exactly what a bad bitch like me needed.

But I wasn’t letting him inside me just yet.

I picked up his belt from the floor and dropped it in his hands.

"I want you to treat me like your slave," I said.

Ethan understood the assignment.

He took me to the edge of the bed and looped the belt around my neck, holding the end of it firmly as he dragged me toward him. He positioned himself behind me, and I felt every inch of him against my back.

I was like a dog on a leash. That was exactly how I wanted to feel ... like I had no control, like someone else was holding the weight I’d been dragging all day.

He fucked me from behind, both of us lying on our sides, his grip on the belt steady, his rhythm relentless. He pounded me like I was the only thing in the room worth his attention.

"Yes, baby ... give it to me that way," I moaned.

"You want it, huh?" Ethan whispered against my ear, kissed it once, then drove deeper.

He flipped me into doggy position without warning. Pulled the belt taut and dragged my head back as he pounded into me. The strap had me drooling, and Ethan leaned forward and kissed me right through it ... deep, filthy, like he loved the mess of me. He never let his dick leave me, not once, not even when I felt myself falling apart at the edges.

"You want to cum? You want to cum?" His voice matched the rhythm of his hips, and his grip tightened on my back.

He buried himself deep ... deep enough that I half-joked to myself he might leave something behind.

We both gasped out at the same time. He came across my back in one long release.

"Take this cream," he said.

"Good for my skin," I smiled, catching my breath.

We ended the night with a deep kiss, and I was the better kisser ... had been for years. I kissed him like I was trying to take something from him, something I needed more than oxygen.

We talked into the night after that.

"I want to keep a straight face tomorrow," I said.

"Because of the talkers ... yeah, I get it. I’m with you. Don’t stress about any of it."

I stared at him in the dark, and he caught me looking.

"Why are you staring at me?" He smiled.

He had no idea I was just being grateful. That I was sitting there counting my blessings and his face kept coming up first. ℴ

"I love you, okay?" he added, like he already knew what I couldn’t say out loud.

We cuddled each other to sleep.