Chapter 219: The First Step Is Learning to Like

Chapter 219: Chapter 219: The First Step Is Learning to Like

She was sick.

And delicate.

Not just the morbid, frightening side.

But also the cute, enjoyable side.

Yeah, when did I forget her cuteness?

Since Haruko died...

No, even earlier.

She kept asking those around her for answers.

But the answers she got were all that she was wrong, that she shouldn’t have treated Haruko like that, and even less should she have evaded and feared.

But she was a normal person; wasn’t it normal to be afraid of that scene full of crimson?

The continuous high pressure, the whispers like evil spirits, and the endings in dreams that were enough to drive one mad.

Made her unable to breathe, let alone think.

Every time she thought about it, it was the scene of Haruko’s death.

It happened in dreams, and it happened in reality.

Every time she closed her eyes to sleep, it was those lucid dreams from before, with Haruko being beaten half to death by Sento in the dream, and then resentfully saying why she didn’t go save her.

It was like a nightmare, constantly lingering in her heart.

She wasn’t like Haruko, who knew the tragic ending of the original novel and didn’t know that the Teacher taking care of her was actually using her.

The constant pressure only made Ichiko feel that her life had been completely messed up.

And as the veil was lifted little by little, the young girl belatedly understood what her yandere nature was truly like.

Just as many people had said: No matter how paranoid, no matter the starting point, Haruko acted solely for her sake.

It was precisely because of her lack of security that she did extreme things.

Her confinement in the basement was because she didn’t want Sento to hurt her; clumsy as she was, she didn’t know how to express it and could only act so extremely.

On the rooftop, she almost jumped off because of a single word from her; it was her instinctive fear that prevented a major disaster, showing her care and obedience.

Being locked in the dark room was also because she was afraid that going to be Sento’s Miss was like a lamb entering a tiger’s den, and she completely lost her sense of security; the extremism was to keep herself.

She once said she wanted a well-behaved her; the half-month of enjoyment was her least stressful and most comfortable period.

Even when she wanted to end her life and leave, she still left a suicide note; she wanted to go back to before she met her, so she wouldn’t bring her pain.

After waking up and being in the dark room a second time, she was already seriously ill; Sister Long and Teacher put pressure on her, and in her eyes, she was being bullied, so even if the methods were extreme, it was to vent for herself.

Even during the final argument, she still restrained herself from becoming morbid, instead saying tearfully—Ichiko, I like you.

The speed of a bullet leaving the muzzle is usually 900 meters per second; in such an extreme state, she almost instinctively pushed herself away to block the bullet, in order to protect the one she liked.

Did she really have no likable qualities at all?

Her smile, her embrace, her warmth, including the sweet, syrupy calls of "Ichiko" when she was in love.

Holding hands, hugging, shopping, hair clips, cat cafes, and even the intoxicating taste of her lips.

It wasn’t that she hadn’t enjoyed it, or that she didn’t like it.

It was just the continuous high pressure that prevented her from rationally thinking about these beautiful things.

Living all day in guilt, regret, and confusion.

Instead, she overlooked the most obvious things.

Was the occasional acceleration of her heartbeat when facing her really not a sign of attraction?

—When you held her hand, and your eyes were full of her.

—As a yandere, she was very well-behaved and also very cute.

Don’t ignore her cuteness and only look at her morbid side.

People are always like this, subconsciously ignoring what they have and blaming the bad things.

Those involved are blind, while bystanders see clearly.

It was nothing more than that.

Looking at Wai Feng’s story as a bystander, Ichiko felt a sense of familiarity, yet it was so clear.

She reached out and wiped away the tears that were gradually fading from the corners of her eyes, her tone becoming much livelier, "Thank you."

Wai Feng scratched his head and said awkwardly, "No, no, I also said some things wrong. When I heard you say yandere, I subconsciously thought of a girl. Using ’cute’ to describe your boyfriend is indeed not very suitable."

"If your partner heard me describe her as cute, she might get pissed off, hahaha!"

Wai Feng chugged the last bit of beer, praising the taste, "But, you only talked about yandere and thought deeply; you still haven’t said why you want to jump into the river."

Ichiko blinked, "I’m not jumping into the river."

"Huh?"

Wai Feng’s hand holding the beer bottle suddenly froze, "Then I’ve been chatting with you here for more than ten minutes, and it turns out I was giving you psychological counseling?"

He even thought someone would accompany him on the road to the Yellow Springs!

Ichiko pursed her lips and smiled, "I was just feeling a bit depressed and came out for a walk, but after listening to you, I probably understand what my problem is."

Escaping, perhaps, was the most useless thing.

Emi was right to scold her; after Haruko died, she did nothing, and even remained depressed and lonely until the end.

If she didn’t change and continued to be so withdrawn, wouldn’t she not even be worthy of remembering her?

Ichiko said to Wai Feng, "How about you don’t jump into the river either? If you die like this, won’t you not even be able to remember your girlfriend?"

It was fine before she said it, but once she did, Wai Feng’s heart felt as if it had been stabbed.

Ichiko didn’t realize that although Wai Feng’s experience was similar to hers, the points they were struggling with were completely different.

The young man turned his head to the side.

Even with the dim yellow streetlights in the darkness, she still couldn’t see the other person’s face clearly.

But Ichiko could vaguely feel that the other person’s eyes were speechless and numb, "Hehe, she was taken away by the blond guy. Maybe she’s in bed right now. What use would those memories be to me?"

"Anyway, I’m an orphan no one cares about. Might as well just die."

"Not necessarily," Ichiko said sincerely, leaning on the railing, "I think you’re very good, and I care about you and am grateful to you. Although I don’t know your name, I will still remember you. Thank you for telling me all this."

Wai Feng sighed, "I was just talking casually, just venting my own emotions."

"But I can feel from your tone that liking someone means enjoying being by her side and being very happy."

Wai Feng looked up in Ichiko’s direction; he couldn’t see the young girl’s face in the dim light, only felt that her voice was pleasant, "Were you also dumped, which is why you came out for a walk?"

"Sort of."

Was that kind of eternal farewell me dumping her, or her dumping me?

Perhaps it didn’t count as anything, after all, she had never directly faced Haruko’s feelings, nor had she ever said a single word of genuine liking.

A "toot—" of a horn came from a distance, a car drove past on the nearby road, and the dim yellow light illuminated the two people by the river.

Along with the passing wind and snow, Ichiko reached out a hand to tuck back her gray-black hair that was being blown scattered; although her pretty face was a little haggard, a charming and gentle smile had somehow appeared on her lips.

Wai Feng stood opposite her, staring blankly.

At the last moment of his life, by the river, he met his White Moonlight.

The young man blushed, and as the car horn faded away, he shouted loudly, "I... My name is Wai Feng. Since we were both dumped and it’s such a coincidence, why don’t... why don’t we spend the rest of our lives together? I’ll treat you well!"

Love at first sight, it must be like this.

His confession never needed to wait.

After all, the time the moonlight shone on him might only be for an instant.

The car’s lights left, and the young girl in front of him became blurry again.

Then came the other person’s somewhat awkward voice, "Uh... I already told you not to jump into the river. Don’t repay kindness with enmity, okay?"

Wai Feng: "..."

Maybe I should just jump into the river after all.

He was a little anxious, "But... didn’t your boyfriend already dump you? If he’s a scumbag, there’s no need to care about him!"

Ichiko: "Sorry, but I already have someone I like, and she’s not a scumbag."

I don’t know if that counts as liking.

But...

At least I can’t do nothing.

At least I have to change myself.

At least I have to make Haruko feel that her death wasn’t completely in vain.

Is liking someone really about enjoying and being happy when you’re by her side?

Always ignoring her cuteness and dwelling on her morbid side.

At least from now on, after she has left, I should remember her good points, right?

The past morbidity and pain only need to be hidden in my heart, to cry and regret alone in the dead of night.

If I don’t take that step, I will never get the answer.

If I don’t know what liking is, then I’ll go learn what liking is.

Even though Haruko is gone, first of all, let me say the words she wanted to hear.

Ichiko raised her head, her eyes gradually clearing and becoming firm, "Thank you for your compliment earlier. The person I like is really cute. Her name is Haruko... she’s a girl."

------------------------

I’ve posted 70+ Chapters in advance on Patreon.

Webnovel updates will still be daily, as usual.

It might not seem tempting right now but who knows what the future holds?

[email protected]/SolyuraMT

"And If you’re enjoying it, drop a Power Stone for me!"