Chapter 91: Even If You’re a Monster

Chapter : 91

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Rain battered the car windows, blurring the city into a collection of indistinct lights and shadows.

Shen Yu sat beside the window with his head resting against the cool glass, watching the raindrops slide down the surface. The sky had been dark for hours, and the steady downpour showed no signs of stopping. Every so often, the car passed beneath a streetlight, briefly illuminating the water running down the windows before the darkness swallowed everything again.

He had barely spoken during the journey.

Across from him, Kim Teahyun sat scrolling through his phone, seemingly content to let the silence continue. Neither of them had much to say after what had happened earlier, and Shen Yu had no intention of starting a conversation.

His thoughts were elsewhere.

They had been elsewhere for days.

Shen Yu lowered his gaze, watching another raindrop merge with the others before disappearing beyond the window. He had tried to distract himself with work, but every quiet moment brought him back to the same person. No matter how many times he told himself to concentrate on something else, his thoughts inevitably drifted toward a certain omega with blond hair and honey-brown eyes.

Jiang Li.

He missed him more than he wanted to admit.

The realization had become increasingly difficult to ignore. Shen Yu had spent so much of his life believing that he could control everything that mattered, that emotions were nothing more than inconvenient distractions that could be pushed aside whenever necessary. Yet Jiang Li had somehow become the exception to every rule he had ever made for himself.

Even when they were apart, Shen Yu could not seem to escape him.

He reached for the window controls and lowered the glass.

Cold rain-laden wind rushed into the car, brushing against his face and stirring his hair. The sudden movement caught Teahyun’s attention, and the latter finally looked up from his phone.

"What are you doing?" Teahyun asked, his eyebrows rising. "You’re going to get the inside of the car wet."

Shen Yu ignored him.

He leaned a little closer to the open window, allowing the damp wind to wash over his face. The air carried the familiar scent of rain-soaked streets and wet pavement, but beneath it, he imagined another fragrance, one that had become so deeply embedded in his memory that he sometimes caught himself searching for it without realizing.

Roses and winter air.

Jiang Li’s scent.

Shen Yu closed his eyes.

For a brief moment, he could almost imagine the omega standing beside him, his soft blond hair moving in the wind and his familiar fragrance surrounding them both. The thought brought an ache to Shen Yu’s chest, so intense that his fingers tightened against the edge of the window.

His arm trembled.

He missed Jiang Li so much that it was becoming difficult to breathe around the feeling.

Then something changed.

Shen Yu’s eyes snapped open.

Beneath the scent of rain, something familiar drifted through the air. It was faint at first, almost indistinguishable from the damp wind entering the car, but he recognized it immediately.

Roses and winter air.

His heart lurched.

Jiang Li’s pheromones.

Shen Yu straightened so abruptly that Teahyun looked up again.

"Stop the car!"

His voice cut through the vehicle.

Jin, the Beta driving them, immediately glanced at the rearview mirror. His eyes moved between Shen Yu and Teahyun, uncertain which of them he should address.

Teahyun paused his scrolling and slowly turned off his phone.

For a moment, he studied Shen Yu’s expression before giving Jin a small nod.

"Stop the car," he instructed.

Jin obeyed, pulling toward the side of the road. Before the vehicle had fully stopped, Shen Yu was already reaching for the door.

He had to find Jiang Li.

He didn’t know why the omega’s pheromones were so strong, nor why they were reaching him through the rain, but the moment he recognized that familiar scent, every other thought became insignificant.

He needed to see him.

He needed to know that he was safe.

Shen Yu had barely opened the door when Teahyun caught his arm.

"Wait."

Shen Yu turned, his dark eyes narrowing into a glare.

"Let go."

Teahyun didn’t immediately release him. Instead, he looked directly at Shen Yu, his usual amusement disappearing beneath an expression that was considerably more serious.

"The omega’s pheromones are dangerous right now," he said. "Can’t you smell how strong they are? If you get any closer, you could end up hurting yourself."

Shen Yu’s expression darkened.

Teahyun tightened his grip for another moment before adding, "And I don’t think Jiang Li would want that."

The words struck a nerve.

Shen Yu stared at him, his jaw tightening as he considered the warning. He could smell Jiang Li’s pheromones, and their unusual intensity was impossible to ignore. Something was clearly wrong, but the thought of remaining in the car while Jiang Li was somewhere out in the rain made his chest tighten with an entirely different kind of fear.

He had spent too many days staying away from the omega.

He wasn’t going to do it again.

Shen Yu yanked his arm free.

Teahyun released a quiet chuckle and leaned back against the seat, apparently unsurprised by the reaction.

"You’re as stubborn as ever," he muttered.

Shen Yu didn’t bother answering.

He stepped out into the rain.

Cold water immediately soaked through his clothes, but he barely noticed. His attention was fixed on the scent drifting through the air, growing stronger with every breath he took.

He followed it.

The rain fell heavily around him, striking his shoulders and running down his face. His shoes splashed against the wet pavement as he hurried along the roadside, searching the darkness for any sign of the omega.

The scent became stronger.

Then stronger still.

Shen Yu frowned as the intensity settled over him. There was something almost suffocating about it, something that made his instincts restless beneath his skin. He could feel the unfamiliar pressure building inside his body, but he forced himself to ignore it.

Whatever was happening to Jiang Li, he would deal with it when he found him.

For now, nothing mattered more than reaching the omega.

He continued through the rain until a figure appeared farther ahead.

Shen Yu stopped.

Someone was sitting on the rain-slicked ground.

For a moment, he couldn’t make himself move. The figure was hunched over, with his head bowed so low that his face was almost hidden. Wet blond hair clung to his forehead and cheeks, while his shoulders trembled beneath the relentless downpour.

Shen Yu’s heart began to pound.

He knew that hair.

He knew that slender figure.

And the scent surrounding the omega left no room for doubt.

Jiang Li.

Shen Yu’s vision blurred as rainwater ran down his face. He blinked, trying to clear his eyes, but the tears gathering beneath his lashes made it difficult to see properly.

He had imagined finding Jiang Li countless times during the days they had been apart. In some of those imagined encounters, he had pictured the omega turning away from him. In others, Jiang Li would refuse to speak, leaving Shen Yu to wonder whether he had already lost whatever fragile connection they had begun to build.

But he had never imagined finding him like this.

Alone in the rain.

Shivering on the ground.

Surrounded by pheromones so powerful that even Shen Yu could feel their weight pressing against his instincts.

He approached slowly, afraid that a sudden movement might startle him.

"Jiang Li."

His voice came out unsteadier than he expected.

The omega stiffened.

Shen Yu stopped, searching his face for any sign that he had been recognized. Jiang Li remained hunched over, his wet hair concealing most of his expression, and for a moment, Shen Yu wondered whether he had heard him at all.

He took another step.

"Jiang Li, it’s me."

"Don’t come closer!"

The shout cut through the rain.

Shen Yu froze.

Jiang Li had bowed his head even lower, his hands gripping the wet fabric around his knees. His entire body seemed to be trembling, although Shen Yu couldn’t tell whether it was from the cold, fear, or the strain of controlling his pheromones.

The omega’s voice broke as he spoke again.

"Please. Don’t come any closer."

Shen Yu stared at him.

He had expected hesitation. He had even prepared himself for anger, knowing that Jiang Li had every reason to resent the distance between them. But the terror in the omega’s voice was something else entirely.

Jiang Li wasn’t simply refusing to see him.

He was afraid of what might happen if Shen Yu came near.

For several seconds, Shen Yu remained where he was, trying to understand what could have caused such a reaction. His first instinct was to reach for the omega, to pull him away from the cold ground and shelter him against his chest. Yet Jiang Li’s warning kept echoing through his mind.

Don’t come closer.

Shen Yu’s expression changed as he remembered Teahyun’s words.

The omega’s pheromones are dangerous right now.

His eyes widened slightly.

That was it.

Jiang Li was trying to protect him.

The realization settled heavily inside his chest. The omega had been sitting alone in the rain, frightened and clearly struggling, yet even now, his first concern was preventing Shen Yu from getting hurt.

Shen Yu took a deep breath.

Then he started walking again.

Jiang Li immediately tried to move away, scrambling backward across the wet pavement. His movements were unsteady, and he nearly slipped as he struggled to put more distance between them.

"Stop moving away from me," Shen Yu said, his voice shaking despite his attempt to remain calm.

Jiang Li shook his head desperately.

"Please, Shen Yu. You don’t understand."

"Then tell me."

Shen Yu continued toward him, ignoring the growing pressure in his chest and the strange reaction stirring beneath his skin. He could feel the omega’s pheromones pressing against his senses, but he refused to let them dictate what he should do.

"Whether your pheromones are dangerous or not, I don’t care," he said. "I want to hold you, Jiang Li. Please."

His voice softened.

"Please, just let me touch you."

Jiang Li’s head lifted.

For the first time, Shen Yu could see his face clearly.

The omega’s honey-brown eyes were wide with disbelief, and tears slipped down his pale cheeks, mingling with the rainwater running from his hair. His lips trembled as he stared at Shen Yu, as though he could not understand why the Alpha would willingly approach him when he had been warned to stay away.

"Shen Yu..."

His name came out as a fragile whisper.

Jiang Li shook his head again.

"You don’t understand," he repeated, his voice breaking. "Please, just stay away from me."

Shen Yu’s heart twisted.

He wanted to ask what had happened, why Jiang Li was sitting alone in the rain, and why his pheromones had become so overwhelming. He wanted to know how long the omega had been suffering and whether anyone had tried to help him.

But looking at Jiang Li’s frightened expression, he realized that none of those questions would reach him right now.

The omega was convinced that he was dangerous.

And Shen Yu needed him to understand that he wasn’t going to abandon him because of it.

He lowered himself onto his knees in front of Jiang Li.

The cold water immediately soaked through his trousers, but he paid it no attention. He was finally close enough to see how badly the omega was trembling, how his fingers curled into the fabric of his clothes as he tried to keep himself from falling apart.

Shen Yu’s gaze softened.

"Then make me understand," he murmured.

Jiang Li’s lower lip trembled.

For a moment, he looked as though he wanted to speak, but whatever words he had been trying to form remained trapped in his throat. His eyes filled with more tears, and he pressed his lips together as if doing so could keep his emotions from spilling over.

Then he whispered something that made Shen Yu’s heart ache.

"I’m a monster, Shen Yu."

Shen Yu went still.

Jiang Li lowered his head, his wet blond hair falling over his face.

"I’m a monster," he repeated, his voice barely audible over the rain. "I... I..."

He tried to continue, but the words broke apart. His shoulders shook as another sob escaped him, and he seemed unable to bring himself to look at Shen Yu again.

Shen Yu stared at him, feeling something inside his chest tighten painfully.

A monster?

Was that what Jiang Li believed himself to be?

What had happened to make the omega look at himself with such fear? What had he endured during the days they had been apart that had convinced him he was something terrible?

Shen Yu wanted answers, but he knew that demanding them now would only make Jiang Li retreat further into himself.

So he stopped asking.

Instead, he reached forward and pulled the omega into his arms.

Jiang Li gasped.

For one brief moment, his body went rigid, as though he hadn’t expected Shen Yu to touch him after everything he had said. Then Shen Yu wrapped both arms around him, drawing him close until the omega’s trembling body rested against his chest.

The rain continued to fall around them.

Shen Yu lowered his head against Jiang Li’s shoulder and closed his eyes, breathing in the familiar scent that had haunted him throughout their separation.

Roses and winter air.

But the fragrance was stronger than he remembered, almost overwhelming in its intensity. It filled his lungs and settled beneath his skin, stirring a restless response that made the veins in his arms throb.

His brows furrowed.

How could Jiang Li’s pheromones be this strong?

He had encountered countless omegas throughout his life, and he understood enough about pheromones to recognize when something was unusual. This was not simply the scent of an omega who was distressed. There was something different about it, something powerful enough to make his instincts react in ways he couldn’t fully control.

Yet even as the strange sensation spread through him, Shen Yu tightened his arms around Jiang Li.

Whatever was happening, he wasn’t going to let the omega face it alone.

"Even if you’re a monster, Jiang Li," he whispered against his shoulder, "then you’ll be my monster. You can call yourself whatever you want, LiLi, but I know who you are. And I’m not afraid of you."

Jiang Li’s trembling grew more pronounced.

Shen Yu drew back just enough to look at him.

"Because, in the end, you’re mine, and I’m yours. That will never change."

For a moment, Jiang Li could only stare at him.

The words seemed to reach somewhere deep inside him, touching a part of his heart that he had been desperately trying to protect. His expression crumpled, and he leaned back slightly, searching Shen Yu’s face as though he were trying to determine whether the Alpha truly meant what he had said.

Then his gaze stopped.

His eyes widened.

Something was wrong with Shen Yu’s eyes.

Jiang Li stared at them in disbelief, barely noticing the rain running down his own cheeks. He knew those eyes. He had seen them before, during Shen Yu’s first rut, when the Alpha’s normally dark eyes had transformed into an unmistakable shade of purple.

But Shen Yu’s eyes had returned to normal afterward.

So why were they purple again?

With a trembling hand, Jiang Li reached up and touched Shen Yu’s cheek.

"Shen Yu..."

The Alpha’s brows drew together at the change in his expression.

"What is it?"

Jiang Li swallowed, his fingers lingering against Shen Yu’s wet skin.

"Your eyes."

Shen Yu blinked.

"My eyes?"

"They’re..." Jiang Li’s voice faltered. He stared at him as though he were afraid to say the words aloud. "They’re purple."

Shen Yu’s expression changed.

Purple?

Before he could ask another question, an unfamiliar weakness swept through his body. His arms trembled, and the strength seemed to drain from his limbs all at once.

He tried to steady himself, pressing one hand against the wet pavement.

Something was wrong.

The strange pressure that had been building inside him suddenly intensified, making his head feel heavy and his vision blur. He struggled to remain upright, but his body no longer seemed willing to obey him.

"Shen Yu?"

Jiang Li’s voice was filled with alarm.

Shen Yu tried to answer, but the words never came.

His arm gave way, and he collapsed onto the wet ground.

Jiang Li gasped.

"Shen Yu!"

He caught the Alpha as best he could, his eyes widening with panic as Shen Yu’s body slumped against him. For a moment, he could only stare at him, unable to comprehend how someone who had been holding him so tightly seconds earlier could suddenly become completely unresponsive.

"Shen Yu, wake up!"

He shook the Alpha’s shoulders, desperately searching his face for any sign of consciousness.

But Shen Yu didn’t respond.

Jiang Li’s heart pounded as he looked down at the man lying in his arms. Rainwater ran over Shen Yu’s pale face, and his purple eyes had disappeared behind closed lids.

The sight terrified him.

He had warned Shen Yu to stay away. He had begged him not to approach because he was afraid something like this might happen.

And Shen Yu had ignored him.

A voice interrupted his frantic thoughts.

"Ah, I already warned him, but he’s just too stubborn."

Jiang Li looked up sharply.

Teahyun stood a short distance away, holding an umbrella in one hand. Jin was beside him, looking considerably less amused by the situation.

Teahyun glanced down at Shen Yu’s unconscious body and released a quiet chuckle.

"Honestly, does he ever listen to anyone?"

Jiang Li stared at him, still holding Shen Yu in his arms.

He had no idea what was happening to the Alpha.

But as the rain continued to fall around them, one terrible thought settled into his mind.

What if Shen Yu had been hurt because of him?