Chapter 92: A Home for His Heart

Chapter 92

.

.

When Shen Yu finally opened his eyes, the world before him was nothing more than a blur of white.

He blinked several times, trying to clear his vision. A faint white noise hummed somewhere nearby, accompanied by the occasional, distant sound of footsteps. His body felt unusually heavy, and even the simple act of opening his eyes seemed to require more effort than it should have.

For a moment, he couldn’t remember where he was.

Then he slowly turned his head.

Someone was sitting beside his bed, their head resting against the mattress. Familiar blond hair fell messily across the person’s forehead, and one hand was wrapped tightly around his own.

Shen Yu’s heart skipped a beat.

"Jiang Li?"

His voice came out hoarse, barely more than a whisper.

The omega’s head lifted immediately.

Jiang Li stared at him for a second, as though he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. Then relief flooded his face so suddenly that Shen Yu felt something tighten painfully in his chest. The omega’s lips parted, but no words came out. Instead, his fingers tightened around Shen Yu’s hand, as if he were afraid that letting go might somehow make the Alpha disappear again.

"Shen Yu..."

His voice trembled.

Shen Yu tried to smile, but his attention was drawn to the eyes staring back at him.

They weren’t the honey-brown eyes he had grown accustomed to seeing. Instead, Jiang Li’s irises had turned an extraordinary shade of pink, with delicate swirls of purple moving through them like colors suspended in water. The unusual hues blended together in a way that made his eyes look almost otherworldly.

Shen Yu stared silently.

He had never seen anything like them before.

"Your eyes..." he murmured.

The moment the words left his mouth, Jiang Li’s expression changed.

The omega lowered his gaze, and the fingers resting against Shen Yu’s hand loosened slightly. He had been so overwhelmed by the relief of seeing the Alpha awake that, for a few precious seconds, he had forgotten about his eyes.

Now, the familiar uneasiness returned.

"They’ll change after a while," Jiang Li explained quietly.

He looked toward the side of the bed, avoiding Shen Yu’s gaze.

"I know they’re strange."

The last two words came out so softly that Shen Yu almost missed them.

But he heard them.

He heard the uncertainty beneath Jiang Li’s voice, the way the omega seemed to brace himself for a reaction he had probably experienced countless times before. It was a small change in his expression, yet Shen Yu recognized it. He had seen Jiang Li become guarded whenever something about himself made him feel exposed.

Shen Yu’s chest ached.

He slowly pushed himself upright, wincing when weakness travelled through his body. His limbs felt heavier than usual, and he had to pause for a moment before he could sit properly against the pillows.

Jiang Li immediately leaned forward.

"Don’t move too much. You just woke up."

The concern in his voice was unmistakable, but Shen Yu barely registered the words. He was looking at the omega beside him, at the blond hair falling across his pale forehead and the unusual eyes that were now fixed anxiously on his face.

Before Jiang Li could say anything else, Shen Yu reached for him.

He pulled the omega into his arms.

Jiang Li gasped, caught completely off guard by the sudden embrace. His hands hovered uncertainly between them, and for a moment, he seemed too startled to understand what was happening.

Shen Yu buried his face against the side of Jiang Li’s neck.

"Strange isn’t the word I’d use to describe them," he murmured.

Jiang Li went still.

"Huh?"

His confusion was almost painfully endearing, but Shen Yu didn’t pull away. He tightened his arms around the omega, drawing comfort from the familiar warmth of his body and the faint scent that had haunted him throughout the hours he had been unable to wake.

"They’re unique," Shen Yu continued, his voice low against Jiang Li’s skin. "And beautiful. I love them."

For several seconds, Jiang Li didn’t move.

The words seemed to reach him slowly, as though his mind were struggling to understand something his heart had been desperate to hear. His unusual eyes widened, and Shen Yu felt the omega’s body stiffen against his own.

He had expected a reaction, but he hadn’t expected Jiang Li to tremble.

When Shen Yu finally leaned back, he found tears gathering in those pink-and-purple eyes. The sight made his smile falter, and he lifted one hand to cup the omega’s cheek.

"LiLi..."

Jiang Li stared at him.

Shen Yu’s eyes were red around the edges, his face pale with exhaustion, and there was a vulnerability in his expression that Jiang Li had rarely seen. The Alpha who usually carried himself with such confidence looked as though he had been holding something together for far too long.

"I missed you," Shen Yu whispered.

His lower lip trembled before he managed to continue.

"I missed you so much. More than I can explain."

Then he pulled Jiang Li back into his arms.

He held him tightly, using the little strength he had left to keep the omega close. He lowered his face against Jiang Li’s shoulder, hiding his expression as tears finally slipped down his cheeks.

He had tried to remain composed for so long.

He had told himself that he needed to be strong, that he couldn’t afford to fall apart when there were people depending on him. He had spent so much time worrying about what might happen to Jiang Li that he had barely allowed himself to acknowledge how frightened he had been himself.

But now that Jiang Li was in his arms, the strength he had been clinging to began to crumble.

"I’m sorry," Shen Yu whispered.

Jiang Li’s fingers curled into the back of his shirt.

"I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. I failed you, Jiang Li. I’m so sorry."

His voice shook, and he pressed his face more firmly against the omega’s shoulder, unable to bear the thought of Jiang Li seeing him cry.

He had wanted to be someone Jiang Li could rely on. Someone who would stand between him and the cruelty of the world, someone who could offer him a place where he didn’t have to be afraid.

Yet there had been moments when Shen Yu couldn’t reach him, moments when the thought of losing him had become so unbearable that he hadn’t known what to do with himself.

He had never felt so powerless.

And now, with Jiang Li finally in his arms, all he could think about was how close he had come to losing him.

Jiang Li’s eyes widened.

For a moment, he forgot how to breathe.

Shen Yu was apologizing to him.

The Alpha who had held him when he was frightened, who had listened to him when he struggled to explain himself, and who had never treated his unusual eyes as something disgusting was apologizing as though he had committed an unforgivable sin.

Jiang Li tightened his arms around him.

Why?

What had he ever done to deserve someone like Shen Yu?

His entire life, he had been made to feel as though something about him was wrong. He had learned to watch people’s expressions carefully, to anticipate the moment their kindness would turn into discomfort or disgust. He had grown accustomed to hiding the parts of himself that others found difficult to accept.

Even when he wanted to be loved, he had been afraid of what would happen if someone saw too much of him.

But Shen Yu was crying because he believed he had failed to protect him.

The realization broke something inside Jiang Li.

He closed his eyes tightly, and tears began streaming down his cheeks. He clung to Shen Yu’s arms, pressing himself closer to the Alpha as though he could somehow reassure him through the embrace alone.

Neither of them spoke for a while.

Shen Yu cried quietly against his shoulder, trying to hide the tears he could no longer hold back. Jiang Li, however, couldn’t contain the emotions building inside him. His shoulders trembled as he struggled to catch his breath, and soon, the soft sounds escaping him turned into helpless sobs.

They were both crying, yet neither seemed willing to let go.

For Shen Yu, the embrace was an apology he couldn’t fully express in words. For Jiang Li, it was the answer to a question he had carried in his heart for far too long.

He had spent so much of his life wondering whether anyone could ever look at him without seeing something wrong.

Now, Shen Yu was holding him as though there were nothing in the world he wanted more.

The Alpha hadn’t recoiled from his eyes. He hadn’t questioned the strange colors or demanded an explanation for the unusual change. He hadn’t looked at Jiang Li with fear or disgust.

He had called them beautiful.

He had told him that he loved them.

And then, despite his own weakness, Shen Yu had pulled him into an embrace and apologized for not being able to protect him.

Jiang Li couldn’t understand how someone could be so gentle with him.

For years, he had heard words that made him question his own worth. He had been called strange, disgusting, and other names that had gradually become difficult to separate from the way he saw himself. Even when he tried to ignore them, the memories remained, following him into moments when he should have been happy.

He had learned to expect rejection before it happened.

He had learned to prepare himself for the possibility that anyone who came close enough would eventually turn away.

Yet Shen Yu was still here.

His flaws hadn’t disappeared simply because Shen Yu loved him. His past hadn’t changed, and the pain he carried hadn’t magically vanished. He was still Jiang Li, the son his father had hated. He was still Jiang Li, the boy who had spent years believing he had somehow failed his mother.

Nothing about his history had changed.

But, for the first time in a long time, he no longer felt as though he had to face it all alone.

He was loved.

Not because he had hidden every part of himself that might be difficult to accept, but because Shen Yu had seen those parts and stayed anyway.

Jiang Li slowly lifted his head.

His cheeks were wet, and his breathing remained uneven as he looked at the Alpha holding him. Shen Yu’s eyes were red and swollen around the edges, and tears still clung to his lashes. He looked exhausted, yet his arms remained wrapped protectively around Jiang Li, as though even now he was reluctant to release him.

Jiang Li reached up and touched his cheek.

Shen Yu turned his face slightly into the warmth of his palm.

The small gesture made Jiang Li’s heart ache.

"I love you," he whispered.

Shen Yu’s gaze softened.

Jiang Li swallowed, trying to steady his trembling voice, but the words that followed came out unevenly.

"I love you, Shen Yu. So much. Sometimes, the feeling is overwhelming. I don’t know what to do with it because it’s too much."

His lower lip trembled.

"I’ve never felt anything like this before."

Shen Yu stared at him, and something tender passed through his expression.

Jiang Li had so much more he wanted to say. He wanted to explain how frightened he had been, how often he had doubted himself, and how desperately he had wanted to believe that Shen Yu might one day look at him and see someone worth loving.

But the emotions crowded together until he could no longer arrange them into words.

Instead, a memory surfaced in his mind.

Shen Yu’s voice, steady and certain, speaking to him when he had been afraid of what the Alpha might think of him.

Even if you’re a monster, Jiang Li, then you’ll be my monster.

Jiang Li’s breath caught.

He remembered the way Shen Yu had looked at him when he said those words, without hesitation or fear.

You can call yourself whatever you want, LiLi, but I know who you are.

And then, the words that had stayed with him long after their conversation ended.

And I’m not afraid of you.

Jiang Li began to cry harder.

He couldn’t help it. The memories, the words, and the warmth of Shen Yu’s embrace overwhelmed him all at once. He buried his face against the Alpha’s chest, his hands clutching his shirt as though he were afraid the moment might disappear if he loosened his grip.

Shen Yu immediately wrapped his arms around him again.

"I love you too, LiLi," he whispered.

His voice was still shaky, but there was no uncertainty in his words.

Jiang Li sobbed against him.

He had fought so hard for this.

His love for Shen Yu had never been something that came easily. He had spent so much time watching the Alpha from a distance, trying to find ways to draw his attention without revealing the parts of his past he was ashamed of. He had changed himself, hidden things, and convinced himself that if Shen Yu ever discovered the truth, he would lose whatever chance he had of being loved.

There had been moments when he had wondered whether he was chasing something that would never belong to him.

Perhaps Shen Yu would never look at him the way he wanted.

Perhaps he would always be someone standing outside the Alpha’s world, hoping to be allowed inside.

But now, Shen Yu was holding him.

The man Jiang Li had loved for so long was holding him close, crying because he had been afraid of losing him, and telling him that his love was returned.

Jiang Li had spent so long trying to find a home for his feelings that he had almost forgotten what it might feel like to be welcomed.

Now, at last, his heart had somewhere to rest.