Chapter 93: A Heart Which Was Never Mine

Chapter 93

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Five Days Later

"Aww! I thought I’d lost you forever! Uwwu!"

Jiang Li had never imagined that Shen Mei cared enough about him to hug him so tightly while crying dramatically into his shoulder. The omega held him as though he had just returned from the dead, refusing to loosen her arms even when the omega began to feel slightly uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t the only one.

Guo Chen stood on Jiang Li’s other side, clinging to him with tears streaming down his face. His expression was so miserable that anyone watching might have mistaken Jiang Li’s return for a tragic reunion after years of separation rather than a visit following several frightening days apart.

Jiang Li stood between them, completely speechless.

He had expected them to be happy to see him, but he hadn’t anticipated being attacked by two crying people the moment he stepped into the living room.

"I’m okay," he assured them gently. "Really, I’m okay. We’re both okay."

Guo Chen immediately pulled back, his tearful face twisting into confusion.

"Both of you?"

Jiang Li smiled.

Instead of answering, he lowered one hand to his stomach and gently rested it against the curve beneath his clothes.

For a moment, neither Shen Mei nor Guo Chen moved.

Then their eyes widened simultaneously.

"Oh, my God!"

"Aaaah! Beanie!"

Their sudden squeals made Jiang Li flinch, and he couldn’t help laughing at their reactions. Shen Mei clasped her hands over her mouth, her eyes shining with excitement, while Guo Chen stared at his stomach as though he had just discovered the greatest secret in the world.

Luo Xin, who had been standing a short distance away, watched them quietly.

Unlike Shen Mei and Guo Chen, she hadn’t cried or rushed forward to hug Jiang Li. She had simply stood there with her silver eyes fixed on him, her expression so still that it was difficult to tell what she was thinking.

Jiang Li noticed her silence, but before he could approach her, Shen Mei grabbed his hands and began examining him from head to toe.

"Li-er, are you really okay? Are you eating properly? Are you sleeping? Did that bastard hurt you? If I find out who did this, I’m going to—"

"Mei-mei," Jiang Li interrupted gently, trying to calm her down. "I’m okay."

She stopped talking, although the worry on her face didn’t disappear.

Jiang Li understood why they were acting this way.

After he had been found, everyone had been desperate to see him. However, Shen Yu had refused to let them visit for the past five days, explaining that Jiang Li needed time to recover and feel comfortable around other people again.

The kidnapping had frightened him more deeply than he had been willing to admit. Even after returning to safety, he had struggled with his own insecurities and the lingering fear that something terrible might happen again.

He hadn’t told anyone what had happened to him or revealed the identity of the person responsible.

Shen Yu hadn’t pressured him for answers.

Instead, the Alpha had stayed beside him, allowing him to recover at his own pace. Only after Jiang Li’s eyes had returned to their normal appearance and his condition had visibly improved did Shen Yu finally agree to let his friends visit.

Now, standing in the familiar warmth of Shen Yu’s penthouse, Jiang Li found himself surrounded by people who had apparently spent the past five days imagining every possible tragedy.

He couldn’t help feeling a little guilty for making them worry.

But the warmth in his chest was undeniable.

For the first time in days, he felt as though he could breathe without constantly looking over his shoulder.

Jiang Li lowered his gaze to his stomach again.

He was four months pregnant now, although his bump had grown so noticeably that someone familiar with him would notice.

The change had happened gradually enough that he had begun adjusting to it, but there were still moments when he stared at his reflection and struggled to believe that his body was changing so quickly.

Beanie was growing inside him.

Sometimes, the thought frightened him. Other times, it filled him with a tenderness so overwhelming that he could hardly put it into words.

It was almost as though the little one were making up for all those months when his pregnancy had barely shown, determined to remind him of its presence now.

Jiang Li smiled and gently rubbed his stomach.

Beanie, you’re really growing up in there, aren’t you?

Shen Mei watched the gesture with an expression that could only be described as adoration. She slowly lifted her hand, hovering it near Jiang Li’s stomach without actually touching him.

She seemed to be waiting for permission.

Jiang Li noticed and nodded.

The moment Shen Mei’s palm rested against his bump, she let out another delighted squeal.

"Oh, my God! I’m actually touching Beanie!"

Jiang Li laughed softly.

"Mei-mei, it’s not like you’ve never touched a pregnant person’s stomach before."

"That’s completely different!" she protested. "This is Beanie! My adorable little nephew or niece!"

She leaned closer, smiling at his stomach as though the baby might understand every word.

"Hello, little one. Your auntie is here. You have no idea how much trouble your parents are going to cause."

"Parents?" Guo Chen repeated, immediately leaning forward. "Wait a minute. Shen Mei, don’t tell me you’re already planning the wedding!"

Shen Mei rolled her eyes.

"Please. That’s the least of our problems."

She straightened, her smile turning mischievous.

"Mom and Dad are going to shit a chicken when they find out about this."

Guo Chen’s eyes widened.

"Wait. They don’t know?"

Shen Mei shook her head.

"Nope."

She spoke casually, as though she were discussing the weather rather than revealing a family secret that could potentially cause an international incident.

"My brother cut ties with them a long time ago. He doesn’t want them involved in his personal life, and honestly, I don’t blame him."

Her expression softened for a moment before she shrugged.

"So, unless someone decides to tell them, they won’t know about Beanie anytime soon."

Guo Chen stared at her.

Then, slowly, his lips curved into a delighted grin.

"Family drama, huh?"

Shen Mei nodded, expecting him to make another ridiculous joke.

Instead, Guo Chen suddenly clasped his hands together, looking more excited than he had any right to be.

"This is just like a soap drama!"

Jiang Li blinked.

Shen Mei stared at him.

Guo Chen pointed dramatically toward Jiang Li’s stomach.

"And Li-er is the forbidden baby mama!"

For a second, Shen Mei looked utterly stunned.

Then she burst out laughing.

"Wait, what?!"

"Think about it!" Guo Chen insisted, becoming even more animated. "A powerful Alpha cuts ties with his family, secretly gets his adorable omega pregnant, and now they have to hide the baby from the terrifying grandparents! This is practically a television series!"

"Don’t forget the handsome, emotionally unavailable Alpha," Shen Mei added between laughs.

"Exactly!"

"And the cute omega who doesn’t know how to protect himself from trouble!"

"Hey!" Jiang Li protested.

Neither of them listened.

They were already laughing so hard that Shen Mei had to hold her stomach, while Guo Chen wiped the tears from his eyes.

Jiang Li could only shake his head, a helpless smile spreading across his face.

It was almost ridiculous how quickly the two had become comfortable with each other. Although this was their first proper conversation, their personalities seemed to fit together perfectly. One made a joke, and the other immediately found a way to make it worse.

For a while, Jiang Li simply listened to them.

Their laughter filled the living room, bringing a sense of normality to a home that had felt unbearably quiet during his recovery. He was grateful for it, more than he could explain.

Yet when his gaze wandered toward the other side of the room, his smile slowly faded.

Luo Xin was still standing where she had been earlier.

She hadn’t joined their conversation or reacted to their ridiculous jokes. Her silver eyes remained fixed somewhere beyond the windows, her expression unreadable.

She looked calm.

Too calm.

Jiang Li knew her well enough to recognize when something was wrong, and the silence surrounding her hurt him more than he had expected.

He had been so relieved to see everyone again that he had almost forgotten what had happened between them before his kidnapping.

Almost.

The memory returned with uncomfortable clarity, reminding him of the words he had spoken and the way he had left things unresolved. He had convinced himself that enough time had passed for the hurt to fade, but seeing Luo Xin standing apart from everyone else made him realize how foolish that assumption had been.

She hadn’t forgotten.

Perhaps she had simply learned how to hide it.

Jiang Li quietly excused himself from Shen Mei and Guo Chen before approaching her.

"Xinxin?"

Luo Xin blinked, turning her silver eyes toward him.

"Hmm? What’s wrong?"

Her voice was gentle, almost as though she were trying to make him feel comfortable. That only made the ache in Jiang Li’s chest worse.

He shook his head.

"Nothing."

For a moment, he looked back at Shen Mei and Guo Chen, who were still arguing over what they had decided was the plot of their imaginary television drama.

Then he turned toward Luo Xin again.

"Can we talk somewhere private?"

Luo Xin studied him for a few seconds.

Something flickered across her face, but it disappeared before he could identify it. She eventually released a quiet sigh and nodded.

"All right."

She followed him without asking any questions.

Jiang Li led her down the corridor and into an empty room. There was no furniture inside, only bare walls and a large window that allowed the afternoon light to spill across the floor.

Once they entered, he closed the door behind them.

The quiet felt different here.

Without Shen Mei and Guo Chen’s laughter filling the air, Jiang Li could hear his own breathing. He stood with his back to the door, nervously biting his lower lip as he tried to decide how to begin.

Luo Xin waited.

She didn’t rush him or ask what he wanted to say. She simply watched him, giving him the time he needed to gather his thoughts.

That patience made it harder.

Before he had been kidnapped, things between them had not ended well. Jiang Li had spoken without thinking, allowing his concern for Luo Xin to turn into words that had hurt her deeply.

At the time, he had convinced himself that he was doing the right thing.

He wanted to protect her.

He wanted to spare her from a relationship that could only leave her heartbroken.

But somewhere along the way, he had forgotten that protecting someone did not give him the right to decide what they should feel.

He had treated Luo Xin’s pain as though it were something he could solve by telling her what she needed to do.

Now, standing before her, he finally understood how unfair that had been.

Luo Xin wasn’t angry with him.

She was hurt.

And somehow, that realization made him feel even worse.

Jiang Li lowered his gaze, his fingers tightening against the fabric of his clothes. He could feel the apology gathering in his throat, but the words seemed too small for what he wanted to express.

In the end, he stopped trying to find the perfect thing to say.

He walked toward her and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

Luo Xin stiffened in surprise.

For a moment, she didn’t move, apparently caught off guard by the sudden embrace. Then she slowly lowered her arms, looking down at the blond omega holding her as though she weren’t entirely sure what to make of him.

Jiang Li closed his eyes.

He breathed in her familiar scent, allowing the comforting sandalwood notes to settle around him. It was a scent he had associated with safety for so long that being close to her made the tension in his shoulders begin to ease.

"I’m so sorry, Xinxin," he whispered.

His voice trembled.

"I’m sorry for what I said that day. I spoke out of turn, and I hurt you."

He tightened his arms around her, pressing his face against her shoulder.

"I swear I was only trying to protect you. I didn’t want you to get hurt."

He pulled back enough to look at her.

His eyes were already growing glassy, and he bit his lower lip as he tried to explain himself.

"Because Shen Mei..."

The words caught in his throat.

He didn’t know how to continue without reopening a wound that was already painful enough. He had wanted to explain that he knew Shen Mei was engaged, that he understood the situation was complicated, and that he had never intended to make Luo Xin feel foolish for holding on to her feelings.

But before he could finish, Luo Xin gave him a small, sad smile.

"Shen Mei is engaged," she said.

Jiang Li froze.

Luo Xin lowered her eyes.

"Yes, Li-er. I know."

Her voice was so quiet that he almost wished she would raise it, that she would scold him or tell him he had no right to interfere in her life. Anything would have been easier than the gentle acceptance in her expression.

She carefully loosened his arms and moved toward the wall, lowering herself to the floor.

Jiang Li watched her, uncertain whether he should follow.

After a moment, she leaned her head against the wall and looked toward the ceiling.

"You know how she always pesters me and follows me around?" Luo Xin asked.

Jiang Li nodded slowly.

"It’s because she only ever saw me as a friend. Nothing more."

Her lips curved into a faint smile, but the sadness in her eyes remained.

"That’s why she was so carefree when she told me about her wedding. She didn’t think she was telling me something that would hurt me. To her, I was simply her friend, someone she could share her happiness with."

Luo Xin paused, swallowing softly.

"And I couldn’t even blame her for that."

Jiang Li stood silently beside her.

He wanted to comfort her, but he couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t sound hollow. He had known Luo Xin for long enough to understand how much her feelings meant to her, yet hearing her speak about them so calmly made him realize how much she had been carrying alone.

She had loved Shen Mei for so long that the feelings had become part of her life. Even if she understood that Shen Mei would never return them, understanding didn’t automatically make the pain disappear.

Sometimes, knowing the truth only made it harder to keep hoping.

Luo Xin let out a quiet chuckle, still staring at the ceiling.

"I was the only one who remained caught up in the past."

Her voice held no bitterness, only a tired kind of sadness.

"She was young when we first met. We were both different people back then, and she has grown up since then. She’s changed, and I suppose she’s already realized that she hurt me without meaning to."

She rubbed her hands together, her silver eyes reflecting the light from the window.

"Maybe this is her way of making things right. By being my friend."

Jiang Li’s throat tightened.

"Xinxin..."

"But, Li-er, your words still hurt."

Luo Xin finally looked at him.

She wasn’t glaring at him, and there was no anger in her expression. Instead, she gave him a weak smile that made his chest ache.

"You were right about what you said. I know that. But knowing something and being ready to accept it are two different things."

She lowered her gaze to her hands.

"I wasn’t ready to hear it from you, especially when you said it as though I was being foolish for feeling the way I did."

Jiang Li’s eyes filled with tears.

He remembered the conversation now, remembering how certain he had been that he was helping her. He had looked at the situation from the outside and convinced himself that the answer was obvious.

He hadn’t considered how difficult it was for Luo Xin to let go of someone who had once meant so much to her.

He hadn’t considered that she might already know the truth and simply need time to make peace with it.

Instead, he had taken the one thing she could not easily control and made her feel ashamed of it.

"I didn’t mean to make you feel that way," he whispered.

"I know."

Luo Xin’s answer came without hesitation.

That was what finally made Jiang Li’s tears spill over.

She wasn’t denying that he had hurt her, but she wasn’t trying to punish him for it either. She understood his intentions, perhaps better than he understood them himself, and she was willing to forgive him even though the pain had not entirely disappeared.

Jiang Li wiped at his cheeks, but more tears followed.

"Xinxin..."

Luo Xin sighed softly.

"Come here."

She opened her arms, and Jiang Li immediately crossed the small distance between them. He sat beside her on the floor and leaned into her embrace, wrapping his arms around her waist as his tears continued to fall.

Luo Xin held him quietly.

She ran a hand through his blond hair, just as she had done countless times before, allowing him to cry without asking him to explain himself. Jiang Li clung to her, his shoulders trembling as the guilt he had been carrying finally found somewhere to go.

He wasn’t only crying because he had hurt her.

He was crying because he understood her pain now, and he wished he could take even a little of it away.

For all the times Luo Xin had comforted him, he had never wanted to be the person who caused her tears.

Yet he had done exactly that.

After a while, Luo Xin rested her cheek lightly against the top of his head.

"But you were right, Li-er," she murmured.

Jiang Li slowly lifted his face.

His honey-brown eyes were blurred by tears, and his lower lip trembled as he waited for her to continue.

Luo Xin gave him a small smile.

"I should let go."

She drew a slow breath, her gaze drifting toward the window.

"I should really try to let go."

The words seemed to cost her something. Her fingers briefly tightened in Jiang Li’s hair before relaxing again, and for a moment, she closed her eyes as though she were preparing herself to accept something she had spent years avoiding.

"Because I can’t keep holding on to a heart that already belongs to someone else."

Her smile faltered.

"A heart that was never mine in the first place."

Jiang Li’s tears fell faster.

He wanted to tell her that everything would be all right, that she would eventually meet someone who loved her just as deeply as she loved Shen Mei. He wanted to promise that one day she would look back on this and wonder why she had ever cried over someone who could never be hers.

But he knew better than to make promises about a future neither of them could see.

So he said nothing.

He simply held her tighter, allowing her to rest against him while she stared quietly at the ceiling.

And for the first time since learning about Shen Mei’s engagement, Luo Xin allowed herself to stop pretending that she wasn’t hurting.